terror in delhi 10/29
Saturday, January 28, 2006
  Pervix Meretricix™®© Goes to Helvetix

Comic book fans would very well remember the Asterix series in which the Gaulic hero time and again saves his small village from the Roman garrisons and goes to distant lands in search of adventure with his pal Obelix. We now present a real-life counter-hero and his misadventures aptly christened Pervix Meretricix™®© (Origin of the story here). He teams up with his best pal Jihadix and cause terror havoc everywhere in the world. They are also chums with Talibanix though they don’t accept it in public for fear of offending their masters the Americanix. To appreciate the comic nature of Meretricix, consider:
"(After October 12, 1999) Pakistan is a democracy."
"Elections will be held and I will be the president."

"My uniform brought real democracy in the country."

"I will take my uniform off by December 31, 2004."

"I will keep the uniform and the presidency till 2007. Opposition stand is undemocratic."

"(About uniform) We will see in 2007."

"I am changing the clause... of the Constitution…" "

The army has to be kept in to keep it out."

"Some (women) are said to have made it a business to get raped and get a visa for US or Canada…" followed by "I never said that."

"(In our conversation) President Bush has not mentioned my uniform even once."

"Those who oppose my policies are enemies of Pakistan."

Also he has a great passion for numbers in what they call Madrassa Mathematix:
"Yes, indeed, 200 percent confirmed," confirmed Meretricix that Rabia had been killed.

Meretricix also said he was 400 percent sure Islamabad had not given any nuclear technology to North Korea.

KT: Does the army support the Kashmir initiatives that you have been taking?

PM: 200 percent. 1000 percent.

Behind this comic façade, lies his rabid hatred for his neighbors and a vicious grit to rule over his own population. Previously, he asked personal favors from Jihadix (a kind of piglet species) friends to hijack airline into his friendly territory which was once ruled by Talibanix. He then bravely initiated the Kargil War but left his commissioned officers at the mercy of enemy forces. Experts say that is where he became an expert in the art of downhill skiiing.

One of our favorite is Meretricix in Helvetix. Recently he went to the Alpine kingdom of Helvetix where the whloe world was talking about ecnonomic development and said:
"I may be good to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. But is there a guarantee that the next person will be the same? We have to go for peace. If we do not, we will let down our next generation."

Ain’t this is what we said. Any ‘peace accords’ with Meretricix is not worth the paper it is printed on since the next Generalix will simply trample upon any bilateral agreement signed earlier as he himself attests (cf. Shimla Agreement). We conclude this episode with possibly a not so happy-ending for Meretricix. While he is away in Helvetix, his fellow citizen, Ayazix Amirix whom Meretricix called an 'unbalanced man' writes on the situation back home as it is:

Conflict in the tribal areas, strife in Balochistan, our American allies facing defeat in Iraq and frustration in Afghanistan taking out their anger on us, and Pakistan’s military rulers caught between two conflicting demands: pleasing the Yanks and placating public opinion at home.

As if all this wasn’t enough, the military government’s India policy is in tatters, all the concessions and flexibility of the last two years eliciting nothing that could be sold as progress to an increasingly disenchanted public.

The bogey of the Kalabagh dam was meant as a distraction from these pressing difficulties. But even that became an embarrassment when after encountering stiff resistance, some of it from within the government’s own ranks, it had to be abandoned.

To put a brave face on this retreat President Musharraf vows to construct a string of big dams by 2016. There is a well-known Urdu saying, “Who has seen tomorrow?” Who has seen 2016?


Better sense also needs to prevail as far as Balochistan is concerned. Let’s get this into our heads (and please let us ban the use of the word ‘miscreants’), the struggle there is for oil and gas. The Bugtis and Marris don’t want control over their natural resources, just their due share. (The Marris are hardliners but we can go into these nuances some other time.) In any case, this should be a matter for negotiation, not the use of force.

On how many fronts can an army fight? Napoleon couldn’t fight wars on multiple fronts; Hitler couldn’t; Pakistan’s generals can’t.

We hope in the coming episodes the good citizens of that country are empowered enough to break away from the clutches of the Militarix-Mullahix nexus. That's when 'real' peace can become an option. Now where are the Candlix Kisserix™®©.

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